


Paybacks

by SunnyInOregon



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Nakedness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24528808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyInOregon/pseuds/SunnyInOregon
Summary: What will Rossi do when Hotch gets an eyeful and Penelope gets an earful?
Relationships: Penelope Garcia/David Rossi
Kudos: 27





	Paybacks

Penelope relaxed, with a cup of tea, as she let the stress of the day flow out of her body. Sitting on the couch, she kicks off her shoes and stretches out her legs. She closes her eyes, tilts her head back on a pillow and slowly breathes in and out, like her yoga teacher taught her.

She was grateful that Dave had arranged for her to leave early. She didn’t know if she could handle anyone else’s bullshit. Derek was being a jerk, Hotch had yelled at her because of a coffee stain on her last report and Strauss had run into her in the hallway, knocking her to the floor without as much as an excuse me. Sitting on the floor, she was ready to cry, when Dave found her.

He had helped her to her feet, guided her to the bathroom and washed her face. One thing she really loved about David Rossi is that he didn’t give a damn about convention. He followed her into the ladies room without batting an eye. She waited there while he went to her office, shut down everything and grabbed her bags, then sent her home.

She felt herself nodding off when the distinct sound of the garage opening reached her ears.

“Oh,” she gasps as she jumps to her feet.

She hastily paws at her clothes, undressing as fast as she can. The last thing Dave had told her was, “I want you naked and on all fours when I get home”.

She knew what that meant and she didn’t want to disappoint either one of them. She slips her panties and hose off as she hears the garage door to the house open. Footsteps on the tile, the door closes with a click.

Almost in a panic, she eyes the room. “Where should I be, where should I be,” she mutters.

She kneels on the couch and bends over the back of it. She hopes this is okay. The footsteps fade as they move away from her. ‘Where is he going,’ she wonders.

“Breathe,” she gasps. She takes a few slowly measured breaths. Anticipation is part of the pleasure, she reminds herself. She closes her eyes and imagines what Dave is doing. In her mind, she sees him in the kitchen helping himself to a snack and fixing them both a glass of wine. Her favorite wine has been chilling in the fridge all day. Listening hard, she hears the tinkle of glass.

She smiles wide and spreads her legs further apart to give him full access.

Her ears pick up the soft splat of bare feet on tile floor. He’s already naked! She giggles, knowing they both are ready for anything. Her stiff nipples rub against the back of the couch. She bites back a moan. Dave doesn’t allow any noises from her until he says it’s okay. She can only imagine how wet she is right now.

He’s closer now, she can hear his footsteps in the hallway. The footsteps stop at the doorway. She hears a gasp and a muttered curse.

“Garcia?” a strangled voice spoke.

She frowns. “I know that voice. That, however, is not Dave’s voice.”

Slowly, as to not scare anyone, she twists her head around and peeks through her hair. Standing in the hallway, mouth agape, eyes averted, wearing just his boxers, is her boss, BAU Chief Aaron Hotchner.

“AAAAHHHHH!!!!”

She grabs a cushion off the couch to cover herself, twists and sits on the couch. “What are you doing here?! Where are your pants!”

Head down, face aflame, he stammers – “I, uh, I… Dave said, he said you left early, and I, uh ugh! I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier today and, oh my God.” 

“It’s okay,” she says as she eyes him. He’s an attractive man, the scars on his torso did nothing to detract from that.

“It’s not okay,” he replies. Shaking his head, he moves closer and settles on the recliner. The boxers do nothing to hide the fact that he is a man – a well-endowed man.

She bites her lip and tries to ignore the fact that she is naked, and he is nearly so, as well.

“I get frustrated sometimes and I forget that I shouldn’t take it out on my co-workers and friends,” he explains.

“I should have been more careful with that report.”

Her smiles and shakes his head. “Not the worst one to cross my desk. That honor goes to Morgan. He once turned in a file that had dog doo on it.”

“What?” Garcia laughs. “Seriously?”

Hotch grins and nods. “Apparently, his dog had done his business on the files. He threw away most of them but missed one. It was at the bottom of the pile on my desk. I kept checking my shoes. That file was on my desk for five hours before I found it.”

She gapes at him half-grinning. “What did you do?”

“I put the paperwork in a clean file then, when he was gone, I slipped it into his desk. I think it took him about three days to find it.”

She laughs, imagining Derek sniffing at his desk and checking his shoes. Then she laughed harder when she remembered Hotch put it there.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this,” she says when she catches her breath.

“You were on leave, I think.”

She nods. “I never realized you were the prankster type, Aaron.”

He leans back in the recliner and with a mischievous grin, raises both eyebrows at her. “Oh, the stories I could tell.”

“Tell, tell,” she pleads.

He thinks for a minute. “Well…”

“Please!”

“How about one I did on Dave?”

Her eyes widen and mouth falls open. She nods vigorously. “Yes, oh God, yes!”

He leans forward again and chuckles. “We were on a case, rooming together, and there was a female detective who kept flirting with me. She was very pretty, smart, funny… anyways, Dave kept dropping hints that I should ask her out. I kept telling him that we were working and now wasn’t the time or the place.”

Penelope leans forward, clutching the cushion to her chest.

“He, being the pest that he is, wouldn’t stop. At one point, he flat out told the detective that I wanted to go out with her but was too shy to ask. He said this in front of the team and all the local cops,” Hotch growls.

She shakes her head. “That sounds like David. So, what did you do?”

He pauses for a moment. A small, devious smile graces his lips. “I wanted to show him how annoying he was being, so I went to the store and bought him new underwear – two sizes smaller than he normally wears. And, while he was in the shower, I exchanged it with the ones in his go-bag. I even replaced the ones in his laundry bag.”

“Oh,” she squeals. “How long did it take for him to put them on? Surely, he had an old pair in the bathroom with him.”

“Your boyfriend is a nudist,” Aaron announces. “He likes to walk around the hotel room naked for at least an hour after he showers. Unless, we are going out to eat or whatever.”

“What?! Why?”

“Says he likes to air dry down there or something,” Aaron shrugs. “I think he just likes to show off.”

She rolls her eyes. “He is such a narcissist sometimes.”

“Agreed.”

“So, what happened” she asks eagerly.

“Just before bed, he slips on a pair and immediately realizes they are too small. And when I say small – let’s just say his junk was in full view!”

Penelope laughs so hard that the cushion falls off her lap.

“Uh, Garcia? You may want to…”

She gasps for breath, then sees him pointing at the floor with his head turned away. She looks down and realizes she is once again in full view. “Oh my god!” She grabs the cushion and covers herself again.

“Maybe we should get some clothes on,” he suggests.

“Yes,” she agrees. “But first you have to tell me the rest of the story.”

“Okay, fine,” he nods in agreement. “It’s too good to wait for.”

She settles back into the couch and watches him eagerly.

“So, he has these briefs on and he’s wriggling around,” Aaron continues. “By now, I’ve showered, changed and am in bed. I’m half-hiding under the covers so he doesn’t see me laughing. He’s tugging on the waistband and the leg holes. He finally takes them off and grabs another pair – same thing happens, so, he tries on another pair. Finally, he says fuck it and crawls into bed wearing the third pair and a t-shirt.”

“At three a.m., we got called out of bed,” he goes on. “We both grabbed the first thing we could get our hands on and got dressed. We were so busy that day, we hardly had time to eat.”

“Was that the case in Springfield,” she asks.

“Missouri. Yes,” he nods.

“He called me twice that day, grumpy as hell that I had shrunk his shorts in the wash!”

Hotch laughs with her, wiping tears from his eyes. “It was hilarious watching him wriggling around and surreptitiously pulling the edges out, trying to stretch the fabric. That went on for three days. We were too busy for him to go shopping – well, I kept him too busy to go shopping.”

“I know he didn’t go commando,” she cut in. “Heaven forbid he gets into an accident or something gets caught in a zipper.”

Hotch grins and nods. “It wasn’t until we were packing to come home that I ended the joke. I pulled his shorts out of my bag and threw them at him. I said, now you know how annoying it is to have someone riding your ass.”

“What did he say?”

“Not a damn thing. He went into the bathroom, changed his shorts, glared at me as he grabbed his bags and left the hotel room,” Hotch recounted. “He later got over it and apologized on the plane.”

“Hopefully, he has learned his lesson. Though I think he still has those other shorts,” she muses.

“Please don’t tell Dave about this,” Hotch requests.

‘Don’t tell Dave about what,” Dave asks as he enters the room.

Penelope screams again as Hotch pales. Dave saunters into the rom, looking at Hotch.

“You alright,” he asks.

Hotch swallows hard. “I swear it was an accident.”

Dave frowns, looking at his friend hard. He notes the lack of clothes. He glances at Penelope. “Why are you hiding under the cushions?”

To the side, he sees her clothes scattered across the floor. He stares at the clothes for a moment, his eyes slide over to Penelope hiding behind the couch cushions, then to Hotch sitting in the recliner. “What the fuck is happening here?”

“I don’t know,” Hotch squeaks.

“You don’t know,” Dave counters.

“David, honey,” Penelope says desperately. “It was, this is, Oh my God! Don’t kill us!”

Dave looks back and forth between the two half-naked people in his living room. His eyes settle on Hotch. “You first, why are you naked in my house?”

“Technically, I’m not naked,” Hotch begins. He keeps his eyes down.

“Technically, I’m still armed,” Dave reminds him.

Hotch looks up at him. “True, but you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you?”

“Depends on what he’s doing,” Dave growls.

Hotch sighs and leans back in the chair.

“I’m waiting,” Dave says angrily. “Why are you wearing nothing but boxers?”

“Yeah,” Penelope chimes in. “You never did tell me that when I asked.”

Dave peers at her and raises an eyebrow. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.”

“It was an accident,” Hotch states. “The whole thing was an accident?”

Dave crosses his arms. These words are raising his temper, not lowering them.

“I was coming over here to apologize for my behavior this morning,” Hotch explains. “On the way, I stopped for a cup of coffee. I was drinking the coffee, when a kid on a bicycle popped out in front of me. I slammed on the brakes and proceeded to spill the coffee all over me.”

He stops to gauge Dave’s reaction. The older man still holds himself stiffly, but his face has relaxed slightly.

Hotch continues. “Once I got here, I realized I had left my go-bag at the office. I went into the laundry room, stripped out of my clothes and put them in the washer. Then I went to your workout room because you usually keep extra sweats in there but I couldn’t find them. I was headed to your room to grab something to wear when I came across Penelope, here – in the living room.”

“A plausible story. Let’s see what contestant number two has to say.” He turns his glare to his girlfriend huddled under the cushion.

She smiles up at him. “I was waiting for you.”

His eyebrow shoots up again. “Without clothes?”

She nods. “You did say you wanted me naked and on all fours when you got home.”

He pauses. “I did say that. I will concede that. But I don’t understand why you were naked when Hotch got here.”

She squirms under his gaze. “You see, I was resting here on the couch and I heard the garage door open and a car pull in. I thought it was you and I remembered what you said and instead of waiting to make certain it was you, I panicked and got undressed and was waiting for you.”

“But it wasn’t me,” he says softly. He turns back to Hotch.

“I swear, nothing happened other than that. We’ve been sitting here, telling stories…”

“About me,” Dave says cutting him off. “About the underwear incident in Springfield.”

Hotch and Penelope look at each other, then up at Dave.

Dave smiles. He crosses the room and settles onto the couch next to Penelope. “I came in somewhere around the part where my junk was on full display and you two were laughing so hard that the cushion fell off your lap, Kitten. You two were so invested in that story, you didn’t hear me come home.”

He reaches over and rubs his fingers up and down the side of Penelope’s exposed breast. He glares at his best friend in the recliner. “I can’t believe you told her that story.”

Hotch relaxes and shrugs. “It was freaking hilarious.”

“Huh,” Dave grunts. “Why don’t you go put your clothes in the dryer? Penelope will go put some clothes on and I’m going to start dinner.”

“Are you mad,” Penelope asks.

Dave smiles at her. “I’m only mad that I didn’t get here first. I bet that was something to see.”

“It was,” Hotch pipes in.

Dave sobers as he slowly turns his head. “You will forget all about whatever you saw, or I will make you regret it.”

Hotch blinks. He stands up and heads for the hallway. “Let me just say one thing – you are a very lucky man.”

Dave waits until Hotch has left the area. He eyes Penelope. “Let me see what Hotch saw,” he demands.

“David…”

He raises an eyebrow at her.

“You have to stand over there,” she tells him. She points towards the doorway.

Dave moves to the specified spot.

Penelope stands and places the cushion back onto the couch before settling back into the position she had been in when Hotch had walked in.

“Damn,” Dave whispers. “How did Hotch stay away from that? Don’t move.”

Dave strides across the room to stand right behind her.

“Hey, can I get…” Hotch begins. Dave turns to see the younger man in the doorway. Hotch turns away. “I’m just going to wait in the laundry room.”

Dave laughs as Penelope buries her face in her arms.

“Not again,” she moans.

Dave rubs a hand on her exposed ass. “Go get dressed, Sweetheart. And bring some sweats down for Hotch. Grab the ones in the bottom drawer.”

She climbs off the couch and grabs her clothes from the floor. “Those sweats are too small for him.”

Dave grins. “I know. Paybacks are a bitch.”

*Finis*


End file.
